Hatred

I hate some people with out any reason. I know they are not very bad people to put up with but still I hate them. Some times I hate to see the very sight of them.


I remember all the little insults, harsh words and the rude behavior  from them and I respond to all of them in my own way. Most of the times whole world thinks I am wrong. Not only others even I feel may be I am wrong. But as soon as I see the person my temper starts boiling again.

I know, I should not be holding onto past so much but I am unable to do so.
As I write this post, I am observing that I am struggling to write. I am not able to write spontaneously because  I have never thought seriously for the past couple of months may be years.
I know every thing but following nothing.
How will I come out of this  worse phase?
 Why am I not able to smile continuously at least for couple of hours?
Why do I behave very badly with some people?
I have not held on to bitterness for any person for very long time...but
in this case I am just unable to.....