I don’t remember my age when I first met ‘him’; neither do I remember my age when I started adoring ‘him’. I always dreamt of being a housewife to ‘him’, cleaning and cooking for him, so on and so forth. I felt immensely happy when I saw ‘him’ smile.
Days passed and we were pretty good friends. I say pretty good, because we never spoke to each other much but there was an understanding between us. We know exactly how we felt the moment we saw each other.
Watching beach and sky together, with him was one of the things I did most often. Some how that scene made me think,a man was talking to his woman through his child. I felt sky was a man longing to be everywhere and succeed (like ‘him’) and earth was a woman waiting patiently for him to notice her and talk to her (off course I am not known for my patience). With out sky, earth had no identity and with out earth sky wouldn’t exist. Not to forget beach, it looked to me like a son who is amused by his parents’ behavior and roaming all around and river was, their adopted daughter. I still remember the sound of his laugh when he heard this imagination.
We were in high school and still my dream of becoming his wife had not changed. Unfortunately we had an argument when we were in class 10, no much words exchanged but we didn’t speak to each other after that. He went away to study in another city and I was left alone with my dreams.
It was after 11 years that I came to know about ‘him’. He was in the capital city. Life was kind enough to give me an opportunity to work in the same city. Dreams of becoming his wife had not changed; certainly along with the tasks of cleaning and cooking I imagined doing much more things with him and for him. In between I have had my own share of dreams for other guys, Yes I did find some of them interesting but none of them came up to a level where in I could imagine being his house wife which meant sacrificing my identity for his sake.
I was getting down the bus from my place to the capital, thought of being on same land as ‘him’ made me smile. After a while I was in the city bus and thinking he might have traveled in the same bus on the same seat, but suddenly it flashed to me that this is a lady seat and he doesn’t break the law.
After being in the same city for 2 months, imagining his presence where ever I went, I finally met him. It was a coincidence. We met in the main bus stop. He was still the same person with the same smile that made me happy. We didn’t say a word. Words never mattered to us.
It’s our 10th anniversary today. We have our beach and river with us.
We still don’t speak much to each other and people find it hard to digest. I still enjoy watching him smile, walk, work, succeed, acting silly and most important I enjoy seeing him stretch both when he gets tired and when he just stretches like that. (“Thak ke jab le taa hain angadaayin, my dil goes ummmm…”- from Salam Namaste). I have resigned my lucrative job and off course he didn’t ask me to do so. I don’t feel I sacrificed some thing for him. I feel I am complete whenever I see him.
They say that a mother is a mother first and then a wife but I am still a wife first and then a mother.
The above lines are one of best imaginations so far; truth is he went away even before we got married. Life is not kind so kind to any one. I was fortunate enough to meet him, to spend some time with him, to see him, to love him. And to be loved by him was a bonus. One fine day life took away him from me physically, but I still feel him when I watch beach, earth and sky together. Off course I have a river with me now, my daughter Kanasu whom we adopted (I know he was there with me when I got her home). I know my Sky and Beach are happy some where and are watching us.
“Roz Kuch dene ka soch hain aap ko hum,
Aim waqt pe yaad aata hain ki aap se heen to hain hum”
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